i bless the rains down in india

You get two posts from me tonight, because my brother wrote a song for me. It will make much more sense if you can listen to Toto's seminal song 'Africa' while reading the lyrics, since it is set to that tune. This is yet another volley in the siege against my desire to stay in California; since I nearly started crying from trying so hard not to laugh at work, I must grudgingly admit that my brother scored at least a fleeting victory before my heart hardened again. We may shoot the music video while he's visiting, if all y'all are lucky...
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I hear the bums heckling tonight
As she mumbles nonsense about her boring occupation.
Giving lonely women much delight
Her writing dreams are born from bad malaria medication.
I thought about it a lot today,
Trying to find a reason for my sister to write pornography.
Writing romance novels is the way, Redeploy! We're waiting here for you!


CHORUS:
What we want is to take Sara away from you,
Bring her home where she can eat lots of cows, that moo.
She can bring her bedding home from India.
And spend her time trying to hook up with a scurvy Lad!

The peacock yelps in great delight,
As you move into a place that smells of a very rich mahogany.
I know that everyone in this town is white,
But surely you've had your fill of an everyday life of friends with diversity.
I want you to be right by my side, to help you beat your addiction to Dim Sum!


CHORUS
What we want is to take Sara away from you,
Bring her home where she can eat lots of cows, that moo.
She can bring her bedding home from India.
And spend her time trying to hook up with a scurvy Lad!

(Instrumental break)

What we want is to take Sara away from you!


I don't know what it will take to convince you,
Don't forget about eating Iowa cows, that moo!
I'll get bedding when I visit India, I'll get diseases when I come to India.
I'll get bedding when I visit India, I'll get diseases when I come to India.
I'll get bedding when I visit India...

In time you'll see that Allerton's not so bad!